What Makes A Good First Date?

by Pam Baldwin

What makes a first date fun? While there are many factors affecting what you and your date will define as \”fun,\” there are some universal dating rules that will affect your, your date’s (and your friends’) perception of your first date.

Bad signs include being late, poorly or inappropriately dressed, or rude. If your date is putting his or her best foot forward, that’s a good sign. If he or she doesn’t care enough to clean up and use their company manners, the rest of the night will probably not be fun.

Second, do something that gives you and your date a chance to talk to each other. A bar crawl or a concert aren’t good first-date plans, because you might as well be alone if you can’t get to know each other. Something lower-key, such as an art gallery opening, coffee at a shop on an interesting street, canoeing, or visiting a park or nature spot all give you something fun to do and let you and your date get to know each other. Dinner, especially at a restaurant you know you like, is a good opening. Have a follow-up plan like a desert cafe or a good area for a walk in mind so you can suggest it afterwards if things are going well.

If a sit-down dinner seems too formal or too high-pressure, plan an activity that gives you something to think about other than how you’re holding your fork but still gives you chances to talk and joke around. Do you bowl? Perfect if you both do; sometimes even more fun if you don’t. Same goes for beginners’ night dance lessons, mini-golf, or the grownup version of arcades. If it would be fun with your friends, suggest it to your date.

And what do you talk about? Not politics or religion, until you have an idea of each other’s philosophies and affiliations. Controversial and emotional topics such as abortion are best left alone on a first date unless you know you have common ground.

One exception here is that it is a good idea for both parties to give the other a general idea of what they’re looking or hoping for from a potential romantic connection. If one of you is marriage-minded and the other is planning a cross-country move soon, that’s ground you ought to cover. Similarly, if one of you is separated-but-not-yet-divorced, or already dating six other people but looking to fill that Tuesday hole in your schedule, that’s not something you ought to leave for later.

However, it is just a first date. Overall impressions of what you want in the early stages of dating are all that need to be covered. You don’t have to hold a two-person referendum on relationships, and whether this will be one, on the first date. If you know that you’re conclusively for or against, though (\”I want kids before I’m 30!\” or \”I’m just playing the field until after graduation.\”), you should let the other person know that.

So, what makes a first date fun is mostly up to the people who are out on that date but good manners, a chance to chat, and an activity that would be fun even if it was with a friend rather than a date usually make for a good time. A first date doesn’t have to be love at first sight or the best restaurant in town to be fun!

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