For Stronger Marriage - Reasons To Stay Married After An Affair.

by Alex Archer

The initial emotional responses to learning of a spousal extramarital affair can be all-engulfing. Naturally, you are the last one to learn about it. And now you know. Everything your life has been based on for years is now in question. You feel you can’t possibly go on together now that pain, sorrow, and anger are overwhelming you. You ask yourself endlessly why the person you married out of love doesn’t feel the same emotions regarding your marriage as you still feel despite the passage of time. But perhaps it doesn’t have to mean the ending of your marriage.

There are reasons to remain in your marriage even after an affair. It is a natural response of human beings to look upon others with lust in our eyes. For many who have married their first love, the idea of a sexual relationship with someone other than our spouse can be most intoxicating, whether we act out on that fantasy or not. Even simple flirtation can be subconsciously engaged in with no intent of taking it any further. Being human entails thinking, feeling, and sometimes even doing things that may not be the most rational choices. And when that happens, we can make an additional choice to use the errors in judgment to learn and grow.

One reason to remain together after an affair is that working through difficulties causes both individuals to grow, together and separately. The strengths that can be garnered from working past an affair together are innumerable. It’s not the good times that make a relationship strong, it has to do more with the ability to handle issues, pitfalls, and even seeming disasters together that serves to cement and reinforce the relationship and build up the marriage. Why not an affair as well?

Provided the one who strayed is actually sorry for their actions, the marriage can be build up from here. It doesn’t matter who cheated on whom. It matters that both parties care enough to work on getting past this issue, and that there is a desire to remain together, and a willingness on both of their parts to face the difficult moments that will come as they forge ahead together. The marriage can not only survive, but thrive as well.

Why stop your infidelity? Think about when you first started this affair. Did you feel guilt? Why did reasons you feel this guilt. Was it because you loved your spouse, you didnt want to hurt them, or you didnt want your marriage to end? You love them and you two built a marriage together.

Part of the appeal of an affair is that the other party is a mystery, and the situation is intriguing and exciting in a way that marriage just isn’t anymore. Perhaps the risk of getting caught is exciting as well. The likelihood that this relationship will endure over time once the feelings of excitement and the newness pass isn’t very promising. After those emotions that you revel in now are no longer there, in all probability, it will be your spouse that you will want to go home to. Before the opportunity passes, you need to make the decision to stop your infidelity.

Why stop your infidelity? You still love your spouse! They know more about you, both your good things and your bad and they are still with you. They love you. So stop bringing this ugly hurtful thing between you both.

It will take strength, it will take endurance, it will take resources that perhaps both of you weren’t aware you possessed, but it is more than possible to get past this affair and not only keep your marriage intact, but be more deeply together. The very traits that you married each other for are the traits that will keep you together, only now, you will be stronger, and more deeply loving together.

About the Author:

Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you cope with infidelity. Don’t suffer another day. Start restoring your marriage right now.

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